De echte laatst

For those whose Dutch isn't as whizzy as mine, today's title translates as 'the really last one'. Bear with me. If you were one of Bob's boys at Raytheon, it was fairly normal to go and drink yourself stupid at t' Narretje at lunchtime. At some point, someone (never me) would declare this round was de echte laatst, and we really should go back and do some work.

There is a point to this. I declared Strasbourg as 'the end' because I felt continuing was pointless. But today has been the real end of this jaunt, ending on a high instead of a low. A trip right across France by train was enjoyable in itself, and it let me see exactly how far I'd been, not even counting going across the bottom of Germany. Incidentally, the ticket clerk who told me it was 'une rien' from Gare de l'est to Gare Montparnasse was a lying bastard. It took half an hour on the bike. Additionally, I met nice, interesting people on the train, and it was all a lot of fun.

I don't suppose many of you have been to Roscoff. Unless you live in Cornwall, it's an unlikely ferry port. It's not like other ferry ports. It's small and charming and generally delightful. It even has a museum about the onion johnnies. Don't know about them? Those of a certain age (I include myself) will remember the French onion sellers with their bicycles festooned with strings of onions. The reason they came to England was because, in those days, it was easier to get to England from Brittany than to get to Paris. Not many people know that.

I walked into town from my b and b, enjoying the view and smelling the sea air, and had a perfect meal of crêpes accompanied by bio cider, chatting to the amiable host and enjoying his music : R&B, soul and rock 'n roll. That was a proper ending. I like France. A lot. We get on.

By the way, can anyone see the point in globe artichokes? Talk about a lot of hard work for little reward.

Evening, all.

Bike on TGV

Cycling across Paris..Arc de Triomphe

Some river or other

La dernière classe

This evening, we have a bit of a literary theme, so if that is not your scene, switch over now.

Being in Alsace got me thinking. As I mentioned, Alsace has been pinched by the Germans / French on more than one occasion. The title, as well as indicating this is probably the last you will hear about this little saga, also refers to a short story by the wonderful Alphonse Daudet, in a collection called Contes du lundi. It is about a French teacher in an Alsatian school teaching (you've probably guessed this bit) his last class after the Germans had invaded in the Franco Prussian war. Living in England, that sort of thing hasn't happened for nearly a thousand years, but it makes you think, doesn't it?

Continuing to pinch bits of French literature to wrap this up, I will have bored many of you witless with my eulogies for Voltaire's Candide. It really is the only philosophy you need to know. I am glad I did this, but now I feel, like the eponymous Candide, it is time to cultivate my garden.

I take the train from Strasbourg at 0715 tomorrow and eight and a half hours later, I shall be back in Roscoff. Apart from the last bit, we're talking TGV here, so it makes me realise just how much I have achieved.

Especial thanks to Ad, Philip and Geoff for keeping me going when I might have given up, and to Kylle for offering to bale me out on more than one occasion. And thanks to Carla, for just being so nice.

Finally, on a lighter note, yesterday's curry was so good, I thought 'why not?'- well, you do, don't you? The place was surprisingly empty, but about half way through my meal, two very drunk Tamils came in and started treating the waitress like a servant, not helped by the fact they spoke no French. I acted as interpreter (at first) and late as mediator, persuading her just throwing them out was probably better than calling the cops. When I paid the bill, I said i should pay more for the floor show. Au contraire, dit-elle, I have knocked 10 euros off for your help.

Evening all.

French for beginners - buying a ticket

Translate into French:

Moi (for it is he) Good morning, I would like a ticket to Roscoff tomorrow morning for me and my bicycle, is that possible?

M. SNCF I very much doubt it. Anyway, why go to Roscoff? There's nothing there. Strasbourg has everything.

Moi euhh? I want to catch the ferry.

M. SNCF No, no, the ferry goes from Calais. I sell you a ticket there.


And so on. Eventually, after being convinced by a colleague that, yes, there was a ferry from Roscoff, we had a long discussion about where the ferry went, why one would want to go there and finally, he sold me a ticket. I hasten to add this was all very good natured.

It is wonderful not to have to cycle anywhere today.

And another thing

If I cycle 120 km per day and eat next to nothing...

... Why am I still a fat bastard?

The trouble with Germany

There are too many cars. I know, you thought I was going to say that they keep invading Poland; I'd never say that. Crossing the Rhine back into France, it was as if everyone had died. Don't get me wrong, I do like Germany, a lot, but it's all a bit busy. And serious. And they shout at you if you cross against a red light, even if it is clear for 10000 miles. Perhaps it's because my French is so much better than my German. Oh, and the food is better in France. Much better. But you knew that.

I suppose it's being demob happy, but I had a stonking day. 120 km at an average of 18 kph. Eat your heart out, Bradley Wiggins.

Staying in Strasbourg for a couple of nights R&R. It's a nice town, very cosmopolitan. As I'm sure you know, it is the capital of Alsace, a region with many strong traditions, not least of which is being invaded by Germany. Sod it! I didn't mean to mention the war. Anyway, it is renowned for its unique cuisine, of which tarte flambée is but one example. Bearing this firmly in mind, I went for a curry. There is something so false about speaking French to an Indian waiter, don't you think? You want to say 'come on, we both know you speak English'.

Reflecting on yesterday's rather depressing post at some length, I considered how a left-leaning, Guardian-reading friend of mine would position it: it's not a failure, it's a deferred success. I hope Lloyd doesn't read this, I shudder to think how he would react if he knew I know people who read the Guardian.

Evening, all

The Rhine - big, isn't it?

Home at last - well, almost

The end

I have been struggling a bit lately with a painful knee. Today's ride was hot, long and quite hard. I didn't enjoy it. The traffic in Germany is as bad as in the UK - on the whole, drivers are more considerate, though. Nevertheless, I have lost the desire to complete the task, it's become a chore, so I can't see the point.

I feel flat, a bit of a failure really. Tomorrow I shall cycle the 100 km to Strasbourg and think what to do next.

Thanks for listening.

What a difference a day makes

Yesterday, suicidal, today, full of joy. Down, I think, to two things, eating and weather. Although it's still not exactly what you would call midsummer, the wind has dropped, it's warmer, and it's not raining.

I am sitting in the sun, by the side of Eurovelo 7, counting my blessings. Blimey, I could be a Greek pensioner, so apologies for yesterday's gloom. See you later.

Although I have not covered a huge distance today (75km) a lot was pretty serious climbing, including one of 18%, almost 1 in 5 to you and me. On the whole, the German countryside is beautiful, as one would expect, neat and tidy, although I can only comment on Bavaria and Baden-Württemberg so far. I find it loathsome that most of the farm animals are kept indoors. This is inhumane and one of the reasons I don't eat meat. We're much better in the UK, but heading in the same direction. Anyway, enough of my soap box.

I am staying in an indifferent (but cheap) pension in the unfortunately named Wankheim.

On the nature table.

One suicidal cricket.
Ditto shrew.
Also the closest I have ever been to a buzzard. I know they're dead common these days, but still magnificent.

Bis später

Anyway...

Ignore all that hand-wringing of yesterday.
As Savoy Brown sang:

It's a new day, a new light, a new life for you and me.
And I'm feeling all right.

The sun is shining, a short-ish but hilly ride awaits, and I don't have to go to work.

See you later.

What has happened to optimism?

I have to confess that today was not a lot of fun. It's cold, unbelievably cold for June. 13 degrees in Ulm. There was also one hell of a headwind, which makes long distances so very tiring. I don't know, perhaps I've done enough.

Anyway, managed another 110 km and am staying at a reasonable hotel at Blaubeuren, near Ulm. I seem to have forgotten to eat again, so hopefully a blowout in the hotel restaurant tonight. Perhaps that will bring back the cheer.

I am definitely not going to Holland, I think I'll be hard put to make it to the Ardennes without a bit of assistance from the train. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm knackered.

Sorry this is so downbeat.

Evening, all

As Canned Heat would say:


On the road again.


No update while staying with Ad and Carla in Hofsingelding because, although we enjoyed it, you would not have done. Far too much beer and food.


I set off this morning with a heavy heart as they are amongst my dearest friends and I shall miss them. They are my second family.


Anyway, none of your business and I doubt it's of interest to you.


Today was very much the curate's egg. The first bit was most pleasing: cool but sunny, ideal cycling weather. Cycling through prosperous Dachau, you just can't help but think, can you? How on earth did that happen? I have been round during previous stays, so gave that particular dose of gloom a miss.


I simply flew along; at this rate, I would be in the B&B by mid-afternoon. As ever, though, old man trouble was lurking in the wing and it was not to be. The wind, up to now a pleasant zephyr, became a howling gale - I always think of Cold Comfort Farm when I see the word 'howling', don't you? I digress. Soon, as if this were not misery enough, it started chucking it down and my misery was almost complete. I suppose a puncture might have helped...


Anyway, to cut a long, damp and rather dull story to the bone, I arrived eventually at my very lovely B&B near Augsburg, turned the heating on - yes, it is the day after the summer solstice - and discovered, as ever, no restaurants within miles. Fortunately, I found a bakery about to close and stocked up on cakes. Protein ? Who needs it. Another bonus is that there is a beer vending machine in the kitchen. Really.


Nature table


Well,some good news and some bad news here. 
I have NEVER seen so many slugs in my life. They are everywhere. Committing suicide in the road, fornicating, feasting on other slugs. Only a slug's mum could love it.


On the plus side, I arrived in time to see the fireflies in the woods next to Ad's place. Apparently they are only around for a very short time, and I was lucky. A first for me - seeing fireflies, that is. It was like a fairy dell.



Until the next time, which might not be tomorrow, as I am staying the other side of Ulm, so it will be a long day, and I have just noticed the B&B has no Internet.


Toodle pip...

Made it

to Munich today. Don't ask. Just don't ask.
Cracking curry tonight.
Our hero (ie me) is having a few days off in luxurious surroundings, fettling the machine and generally taking stock of situation.
A time for contemplation.

The power of teams

When I had the mercifully relatively brief spell of my life as a corporate apparatchik, rather than do anything useful, the plan was management by slogan. One load of horse's do do we were supposed to disseminate was 'the power of teams'. Well, let me tell you now, it's b0ll0cks. When I was on my own, I was averaging 100 km per day. Now I am with Ad, this has gone down to 30. However, beer consumption has sextupled, and we are having fun. Incidentally, 'most of all, let's have fun' was also one of the many slogans, so perhaps it wasn't all bad.

Well, dear Reader, I have a confession to make, and I'm a bit embarrassed. We're at Waldshut, and look at it how you will, Waldshut is not Munich, nor even close. Yet tomorrow we take the train. I'm afraid that the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. In the meantime, more beer...

Drunk

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow. A staggering 50km today. Stopped at 3 been drinking ever since.

It's not my fault, society is to blame.

Geoff, thanks for your comments, especially re food. Sometimes I miss out on the important things.


Ta ra

Cycling tips and a useful navigation hint.

Today I road like a teenager on whizz. The reason? Eating. It makes all the difference. Not many people know that.

Actually, a bit more to it, the temperature has dropped, about 5 degrees, and the wind has disappeared completely. So, a pleasant cycle, largely along the Canal du Rhône au Rhin plus a few dedicated cycle paths through forests. Got lost around Mulhouse when diverted off the towpath, but unfortunately not back on again. The only snagette, and I don't know why this happens to me every sodding time I come to Germany, an enormous thunderstorm, so,  soaked to the skin again, but not the end of the world as it was still warm.

The navigation tip I'm going to give you is a useful one: just because you have found the right road, it's not necessarily going in the right direction. Fortunately, having passed my navigation exam as part of ppl training, it only took me 20 mins to realise that if the sun was on my left, there was a good chance I was not heading East.

A good thing: the pleasant and inexpensive hotel (that's why we're in Germany and not Switzerland) opened specially for us. A bad thing: but not the restaurant, and it's raining, and there's nowhere else to go. So, no food AGAIN.

Nature table update

I forgot to mention, the very nice lady at last night's château has a Manx cat. Funny looking thing. Apparently he can't miaow, but I don't know if that's all Manx cats, or just him.

Food

It's been one of those days when food has proved utterly elusive.
Started well with a lovely breakfast.
I was going to picnic on cheese, fruit and nuts, and maybe a little beer.  Called in at the grocer... Non ! J'ai faim, dit-il. Me too, pal. And so it went on, really. Got to the B and B in Belfort - stunning, with a pool. And a garrulous owner who had told me where I could eat on  arrival. However, by the time he'd finished showing me around, introduced me to his wife, blah, blah.. I asked him again where it was and he looked at his watch.. Alas, too late.
If only teleportation worked. I am starving.
Evening, all.

Bit of a cock up

First, a poem, in French, I hope you like it.

Euh! La Loire !
J'en ai marre.

I am expecting a call from l'académie française any moment.

It's probably sacrilege, but I mean, the Loire.. What's the point? It's a shallow fast - flowing river. I challenge anyone to say from a  photo where any bit of it is.  It's all the bloody same. And another thing, what sort of moron thinks that cobbles are a suitable material for a cycle path? Anyway, I had a damascene moment this morning, a cobble too far, and I thought, the sodding thing doesn't even go in the right direction. So, armed only with 3 gps's and a map, I went off piste.

Yes, the horrendous headwind was still there, but somehow, the fact I was actually heading east seemed cheering. Additionally, there were things to look at, horses, trees, factory farms-lots of those.

It's always the detail that bites me. Normally in France you see Chambres d'hôtes everywhere. I didn't see one in hours. Google is your friend, but it seems a lot of feckless b and b owners couldn't be bothered to let Google know they were having their hols.

Eventually, after 120 km I found an eco castle - yes, really - and the kindly owner took pity, even though he was officially closed.

Thank you people who have commented. It  can be lonely and it's really good to know that someone is reading this bilge. Darren, yes, indeed a polecat, I checked in Wikipedia. Philip, I don't think Jargeau is nearly stylish enough for you. Whoever L is, the answer is yes, but discretion is important.

Night, all, whatever will tomorrow bring?

You couldn't make it up!

Going for a quick stroll after an indifferent breakfast to remind my legs they can do other stuff than pedal, I saw a school girl get out of a Porsche Panamera taxi. Blimey !

Fine dining

If you're ever in Jargeau, unlikely, I know, I can thoroughly recommend Le Pizza Martroy. Wonderful pasta, une (ou plusieurs) bières artisanales and the biggest, most delicious profiteroles I've ever had. All for not much money.

Doubtless I shall no fall asleep to Bill Bryson 'Made in America' as I did last night.

Oh, I keep forgetting the nature table. So far spotted a hare, a polecat and the biggest, scariest beetle I've ever seen. I encouraged it to start a new life outside.

That's all folks.

Fine dining

If you're ever in Jargeau, unlikely, I know, I can thoroughly recommend Le Pizza Martroy. Wonderful pasta, une (ou plusieurs) bières artisanales and the biggest, most delicious profiteroles I've ever had. All for not much money.

Doubtless I shall no fall asleep to Bill Bryson 'Made in America' as I did last night.

Oh, I keep forgetting the nature table. So far spotted a hare, a polecat and the biggest, scariest beetle I've ever seen. I encouraged it to start a new life outside.

That's all folks.

Early bath

Well, almost. The bloody, bloody wind. It not only saps your strength, but it's very irritating, VERY IRRITATING. I had nearly given up by 1400 and was looking for a b and b that had been recommended, but I couldn't find it, so I pushed on to Jargeau and am staying in a hotel. It redefines the word 'cheap'. I haven't stayed anywhere like this since the sixties, but it's clean-ish and friendly. Plus, I can actually eat tonight.

I suppose when humans are glued together, all the bits are expected to last roughly the same time, so it seems only right that, as my hands are packing up, my knees should be failing too.

A bientôt

Wind

20 knots gusting to 30...on the nose! I hadn't expected this! Oh, lordy!

FFS

Monday 8th June
Swim before breakfast, delicious but worrying as my hand is worse - could not close my fingers while swimming. This could curtail things. Maybe I can see a doctor in Munich.

The ride so far has been dull. Going through Tours was stressful and took ages, and for the last hour, I've had a busy main road on one side and impenetrable trees on the other. Fortunately, amusement was provided by a young blade on a moped attempting (but failing) wheelies. My how we laughed.

Sitting in the sun in a delightful café at Montlouis sur Loire having a pleasing but expensive latte.

Later. All in all, it's been a pretty crap day. I have had the wind against me since leaving Paimpol, but today it's really been blowing a hooley. At one point, going down a 5% incline, I stopped pedalling - and stopped moving. Additionally, for reasons that baffle, the cycle path would veer away from the river, climb a steep 500 feet and head off across the wind-swept plain for 10km or so.  Think Norfolk, but nicely elevated to catch whatever wind was going. At one point, some jobsworth git tried to tell me the road was closed, although it clearly wasn't. 'Oh, really?' I sneered (in French, of course) and cycled on.

To finish, the Chambre d'hôtes is in the middle of nowhere and I have only a stale packet of peanuts. All in all.. J'en ai marre. I do admit the last problem is of my own making.

Night night

Chambres d'hôtes

It baffles me why anyone goes to hotels - well, I suppose because they're rich. Second chambre d'hôtes that has provided a meal, with vino, for 12 euros. Not just fodder, but a bloody good scoff. On top of that, very pleasant company and the opportunity to improve one's French. Oh, and a pool. And Madame lent me a maillot. So, if you're ever at Berthenay, near Tours, Les Près Baynard is not to be missed.

Night all.

A problem with the space time continuum

I spent spent bloody ages writing this post then went to find some photos and it all disappeared. Bloody computers.

I was ranting about the fact that, although I have done 580 km, I still only seem to be 230 miles from Roscoff. But I can't be arsed to go into all that again. I am  at a b&b just outside Tours, it's hot and there is a very nice pool. I am eating here en famille tonight.

I'll post the photos that would not post yesterday as the Internet seems a bit better here. Update : still won't poat photos. Blogger is crap.

Gary asked why I'm doing this. I honestly haven't a clue. Because I can? It is mostly enjoyable and it gives you a lot of time to think about stuff, which I enjoy. Ultimately, everything is pointless, so I suppose this is  no more so than most of  human endeavour.

Duke of Edinburgh

A strange and feverish night.  I dreamed I went flying with the Duke of Edinburgh. Seemed a nice old chap, though I admit a dream is hardly a reliable character witness.

Sunny, cooler.  Today I actually head properly east along the Loire. I am slightly concerned as I have numbness in my left hand, probably a trapped ulnar nerve. I can ride one-handed for a bit, but probably not to Munich.

Thanks for comment, Geoffrey, good to hear from people. I prefer to look on the loss of the jacket as a sign it's not going to rain any more.

A tout à l'heure.

The B and B

I have discovered I can get an iffy broadband signal sitting on the loo.
Having a really relaxing day, listening to Clare in the community.
I decided to save some money by buying fruit and nuts and a bottle of local cider and not eating out. Unfortunately, I have eaten everything and am still hungry. Picture of chambre d'hôtes attached.

Apologies

This might not be the usual high standard of prose that you have come to expect. You see, I've got a bit of a problem. Despite burning around 4000 calories a day over and above what you need to stay alive, I have no appetite whatsoever. Fortunately, my enjoyment of alcohol remains unaffected, anyway, you can guess the rest...

No Internet for two days - actually very liberating. My friend John (richest man in the world™)  said you can get Internet access absolutely everywhere these days, but so far, I've managed approximately nowhere, so yet again I'm using my very expensive dongly thing.

I think we last met in rainy Brittany. On the second day's cycling, I met my friend Alain Loinsard. He is, basically, bonkers. A lean, fit cycling machine. He thinks the correct speed to cycle is 30 kph. Well, I don't. He nearly killed me, and it was only through showing great strength of character, ie going very slowly, that I survived at all. Lovely chap with a gorgeous house near St Malo, and a very good attitude to the state of the planet. His only fault, and it's a big one, he doesn't drink.

However, the next day, i finally made it to Fougeré (look it up) and spent a lovely evening with Joyce who runs a veggie B and B, is a stunning cook, and who I knew straight away was my sort of person when she offered me a beer on arrival. A lovely evening, I wanted to stay an extra night, but she was booked, and I'm not surprised.

Today, I staggered onwards in sultry conditions and made it to Saumur. Roy/Philip, remember Saumur? Anyway, I popped into the very helpful tourist information and they found me a top-hole b & b in Montreuil-Bellay, where I have effectively a suite for not much money.

Tomorrow, day off. I'm slightly concerned because I'm losing feeling in my left hand, so hoping a rest will sort that out, anyway, I'm old and knackered.

A pleasant evening at a cheap-ish restaurant playing 'spot the dick-head'. In the past, you could almost guarantee they would be English, but the French are now catching up. I suppose that's globalisation for you.

Oh, lost my jacket today, it fell off the carrier. A very nice lady stopped me and I went back, only to see an arse pick it up. I shouted at him, but he gave me the international sign for peace, at least, I think that's what it was, and drove off. I did get his number, but thought 'do I really want to spend the rest of the day in a police station' so left it at that. I didn't really like it anyway, it clashed. I  did put a curse on him, though, so that's him buggered.

Anyway, that's the news from Lake Woebegone, Philip, thank you for commenting and I wish you were here.

Let's call it days 0 and 1

I wrote a huge amount and the network died. I'm too knackered to write it again. Let's just say it rained. A lot. And I went too far.

Bit later: had a good stodge-out so feeling better.  The local cider is pretty goof, too.

The crossing yesterday was appalling, I think the worst I've known. Couldn't sleep because I was almost thrown out of bed every couple of minutes, puke everywhere. Not me, fortunately.

Today was disappointing, the scenery was lovely, but the constant rain and high wind spoilt everything.

It should have been 109 km, but Mio's little vagaries turned it into over 120, too far for this geriatric.

B&B - L'abri des îles, in Paimpol, is excellent and Nathalie charming and helpful. Paimpol is pleasant, though understandably touristy.

Apparently tomorrow will be better.

Night, all.

Inauspicious beginning

The weather here in Cornwall is atrocious, windy and chucking it down. Not a lot different in Brittany . Ah, well, it's character building.

The boat leaves Plymouth at 2200 and gets in at 0800 tomorrow, perhaps things will have improved. My first stage is largely around the north coast to Paimpol. See you later.